Back at home

I'm at home now and more than a little bit hungover. I'm very hungover. My head is pounding but I've finally managed to get out of bed. It was a wild night to say the least.

I went out to some bars with my friends from high school. It's funny how we all went away to school and got fake ID's. And it wasn't just us it seemed like half of my high school was there - including the guy from my Christmas break, my so called lover. The funny - not so funny thing was that he told me was going back to school Thursday night, which was when I got back into town. He didn't see me for a while and I almost forgot about him when he came over to where I was sitting. Against my better judgment, I went to another part of the bar so we could talk.

I wanted to believe what he was saying but I just couldn't. He said he liked me too much and that he loved his girlfriend but he didn't want to lose me. He said he had been avoiding me because he had been trying to avoid the feelings for me.

I wanted to go home with him, but instead I let him walk me to my friend's car. And we kissed, but I whispered into his ear - "I want you to fuck me tonight, but we can't."

I wanted him inside of me so badly - but I was proud of myself. I've slept with a lot of guys, but I try to make sure it's on my terms. It sounds kind of weird, but it makes sense to me.

I'm going to get going, I'm going to try to eat something but I think the only cure to my hangover is to start drinking again. There's a party tonight, it's at one of my friend's from high school's house. If it ends up anything like the last party I went to with my high school friends, I'd be very happy. A little threesome fun might satisfy my needs.